How to deal with an aggressive boss

How to protect the nervous system in the psychological pressure from the leadership, what to do if the head is constantly screaming, we asked the head of the Moscow Psychological Training Center PsyExLab Galina Tymoshenko, who gave a number of practical recommendations.

I am writing down

If your boss is prone to uncontrollable anger, carry a notebook and pen. As soon as he starts to cry, politely say, "I write. So ... "- Your task is to slow the rate of speech of the aggressor. Ask questions, ask again. Once a person realizes that his words are recorded, he begins to control his speech. This means that the level of anger is reduced.

In this case, you can sometimes interrupt too emotional speech: "Slow down, please, I write", "Sorry, I do not understand what you mean," "Repeat, please," "I want to make sure I understand you correctly ". The angry person begins to think more clearly formulate their claims.

Call by name

For each of us the most pleasant - to hear his name. And sometimes just repeated appeals to it can stop the angry person. If you yelling boss, the calm, at least three times, preferably seven, Hail him, interrupting the flow of the charges: "Ivan Ivanovich" This will help him literally come to life.

Such a person as a small child, it is necessary to divert. Even if he feels it and say something like: "Do not interrupt me," he was already aware that behave indecently. But only works in the spoken name of this technique. If you say, "Well, listen to me", "Yes, I just ..." - this chef inflame even more.

See also: 5 traits of an ideal boss.

From the point of view flies

If you are satisfied with the spacing, and you realize that this thread is pointless to stop, try to see the situation, for example, the position of the fly crawling on the ceiling. Somewhere down there, scurrying around some people make a lot of noise, and you have your worries, your problems and joys. Think of this as a cry of the raging elements outside the window.

With a net and panama

If the fear of completely paralyzes you apply this potent technique. Imagine your enemy, shouting and insulting, not dressed in expensive suit with a tie, and a ridiculous panama, torn sneakers, and in the hands of his net for catching butterflies.

Remember what makes comedic effect Nikulin in "Diamond Hand" when delivers his impassioned monologue: "You - the mother of my children .." he was walking in the family shorts. Can you imagine your boss with the face of a comic artist. To whom it is more like - by Fernandel, Louis de Funes, Charlie Chaplin, or Vitsin Morgunov? The fact is that if an object is laughable, we can not be afraid of him. But the main thing - not to laugh in the face of his boss.

broken record

Zagotovte advance any neutral phrase such as: "Let's talk about it later." And no matter what claims are bringing you a boss, no matter how provocative questions not asked, as if he tried to hurt your feelings, I kept repeating: "I understand that you are angry, but let's talk about it later." As a rule, after the fourth or fifth repetition aggressor energy runs out: it is necessary to come up with new and new arguments, and you repeat the same thing.

reasonable self-criticism

In response to criticism of the authorities you are conditionally agree that they were wrong. And this should be a serious, calm tone that brooked no no words of self-abasement, no excuse and without resorting to self-flagellation. Key phrase: "Maybe I'm wrong."

To angry outbursts chief you can answer, "Yes, perhaps I am wrong, and I still have work to do."

"What else can I do wrong?"

This method is good to use when you are attacked on the sly. Let's say, not directly criticized, and hints. Most often, this method of hidden aggression used by women: "By the way, someone does a job in no hurry ..." "And some people prefer to pass on part of the cases of colleagues ..."

If you are sure that it comes to you, you can respond in two ways. For example, to pretend to be thick-skinned and do not understand what is meant just for you. Or, conversely, after each of these pins to ask, "What else can I do wrong? And what's more I'm wrong? "Try to pronounce these words with irony, sarcasm, perfectly neutral tone. The aggressor and so understand that you guessed his intention and are not going to fall prey to his game.

"And you will be cured ..."

Imagine that you are - a psychiatrist or a biologist who studies the habits of wild animals. And, based on this role, observe the manifestation of the wrath of your boss. Mark for themselves, whether strongly reddened his face as his eyes shine, what posture it takes to scare you. So you abstract from aimed at your aggression, and hence reduce the level of their concern. Psychologists who study the behavior of the victims say that attack mainly on those who are afraid. If the chief finds out that his anger does not cause him right senses, he is likely to depart.

Everything will be fine!

If you fall under the patronage anger at the meeting and can not answer anything, imagine that very soon all of this will end: the assembly, and cry, and claims and accusations. Think about how this situation could have been completed for the benefit of all - both for you and for the team, and for the chief.

Let's say, because of the fact that you have not sent in time to the correct paper partners, your company will avoid the collapse of a miracle, you will improve the position, and the chief will increase their income. Here he is now shouting, cursing you and even does not know how soon will thank you. It represents a good outcome it is necessary for all participants. If you think that the chief of the house is now lit, you have a subconscious sense of guilt, which later result in inexplicable anxiety. And so ... let all will be all right!